Paralympics and all the thoughts that has elicited.

How long is it since I have posted? A fair while. What do I say now?

I suppose I can start with why I have not been here for so long. Basically it is because Mary has not been making as much progress as expected and predicted. The medics are still confounded by her and the educators are struggling with her. I am struggling with her. She on the other hand is not struggling with us. She sees it as the world's problem not hers. And long may that attitude continue. Well except while I am trying to instill some knowledge, values, everyday abilities and such like into her!

I started the Blog initially as a way of recording the progress Mary has made as a way of seeing that the implant operation and the therapies were working. Just reading back on what I did write reveals that we are a little further ahead but not greatly. Mary's speech is coming along, slowly. She still does things in her own time. She seems slow to grasp some things and yet incredibly quick to grasp others. To say it is frustrating is an understatement.

Another reason to start the Blog was a way of me coping with my life at the time. Two years on I find myself a single Mum with almost full time care of both my girls. I hold down two jobs and run the household. Their Dad still sees them and is quite good at being there for them. But it has been an emotional rollercoaster. Oh what  a cliche!! As things improved in my life I did not need to record every small improvement in Mary. Also I was too busy so things got left. Now I shall explain what brought me back to the computer.

This summer we have been watching the Olympics and Paralympics. Who hasn't? this has gotten me thinking on so many levels. I am coming to terms with Mary as she is. And Katy, can't forget Katy, she is turning into such a lovely young lady I am so proud of her and do try and remember to praise her and tell her. She wants to follow in the footsteps of Rebecca Adlington. We have signed her up to the local swim club and we shall see where that goes. Does one need to buy a hat to attend the Olympic Medal Ceremony of one's child? I shall Tweet and ask the Olympians and Paralympians I follow. I am on Twitter!! Joined this morning.

I have a need to connect to people. And boy have we seen some great people over the Summer. I have made some great friends via Facebook but still I want to meet and befriend more people. I think this is my thing in life. Being stuck home alone most days I do struggle socially. But I have some fantastic real life friends and my end of summer resolution is to bug them more. Thank goodness for Facebook. It connects you with people any time of day or night. People who have similar experiences, similar views and similar ways of looking at the world and making me laugh. People who have struggles of their own and also try not to let it get them down.

I am not one to force myself upon people. I prefer to let them come to me. But how will people know I am here? Because I can write about it. I joined Twitter after refusing for so long. I have yet to decide whether it is for me. You can't write much. And as you can see I like writing a lot. But it is another way to connect to other people and hopefully continue to share in the inspiration brought to me this summer. I am not one for celebrity and giggling over who I may or may not have seen walking down the street. I see most of them as people who have been fortunate enought to either be in the right place at the right time or to know people who know people. Yes a lot of them work hard at what they do but then so do most of the non-celebrity persons in the world. Hard work is not necessarily the thing that made them famous. Hence my reluctance to join Twitter and the hype associated.

The Olympic and Paralympic theme has been inspire a generation. Inspire them to what? Sports? I realise that not all of us can become elite athletes and indeed sport is not for all of us. I do try and keep fit, I walk to school everyday. I swim with the girls regularly and on my own when I can find the time. I even joined the gym two years ago although I fear the novelty is waning somewhat. But I have been inspired. I want to connect with more people and I want to write. This Blog is the start of that, joining Twitter is the start of that. Something I can do in the evenings on my own when I am not being bugged.

As to the tone of the Blog. That is changing. I have so many thoughts and feelings associated with raising Mary. She is wonderful adn magic but extremely hard work. On Facebook I try to be up beat about stuff but that is not always the way I am feeling. I am going to use this Blog to write about my feelings and I am going to be mostly quite honest. It would be great to have some support for that side of this journey. I shall write some more in the week. I have so many ideas. Until next time...

Washing Machines and Cars

Yesterday, One of the most important dates in the calendar for the Shaw family, namely the birthday of Big Sister Katy, we were getting ready to go to Daddy's house. I was putting washing in the machine and Mary was helping. Then I notice she is making the "pshhhttttt" sound exactly as the water sounds when it first enters the machine. Her copying sounds is really coming on.

Once the washing had been sorted I then proceeded to get the girls and all their things ready. Mary kept insisting we were going by bike. I have purchased her a tagalong for my bike which she thinks is absolutely fabulous. So we have to cycle everywhere. Alas though Daddy's house is about 2 miles away and I have not yet plucked up the courage to do more than the school run and to the local shop. Not to mention Katy would have a epileptic fit if i suggested cycling so far and where would we put all the stuff! So as I was putting Mary's shoes on, she is avidly signing "bicycle" I say to her "No we are going in the car. The car." Pleasee note My hands were busy and so I was talking. I was also talking down not looking at her face. She immediately signs "car". So she heard and understood and showed she understood. Well done Mary. Then when we get in the car particularly if she is in the front she makes all the actions as if switching on and driving the car and the "rmmmmmm" noise of the engine.

Another step forward is that now we say "Shoooos offfff" whenever we come in the house and I ask all the kids to take their shoes and coats off. Mary thinks it is sufficient to say this and stick her foot up at me. But we are making progress. She does take her "shooooos offf" when the mood takes her.

Words/Sounds

Pssssshhhhhhtttt - water noise going into washing machine
Rmmmmmmmm - car
Shhhoooos offff - Shoes off

She signed Sorry!!

On Wednesday 6 January 2010 we were at our friends house. She has a 13 month old delectable daughter. Anyway MAry was being a bit of a bully towards this girl and ended up pushing her over and making her cry. She was ok but went to mummy for a cuddle after the shock. I told Mary off and had a my very best cross face on, she actually signed "sorry" and "crying". And she looked sorry! Yay my girl said "sorry".

New signs

Sorry
Crying

Extending Mary's Sign vocabulary

In addition to helping Mary focus on speech sounds we are also trying to extend her sign vocabulary. Mary has all her needs well and truly met so does not feel the need to sign more. She uses a lot of gesture and showing people what she wants or just does it herself. She got herself in trouble with Grandpa for shoving a DVD into the video player at Christmas, oops. Still it all turned out alright in the end!

So before Christmas she asked for her Tom and Jerry DVD, she signs "cat". I spent a few minutes with her getting her to sign " cat DVD please". She did this after a fashion.

Today she came to me and asked for "cat mouse". I was so pleased. I have referred to Tom and Jerry as "cat mouse" but she never took that up. Or so I thought. She is such a minx. Wonder what this next year is going to bring!

New Sign
"cat mouse" Tom and Jerry

Mary's cool Uncle Sean

He has made a big effort to learn some signs, like his brother Uncle Justin, but one does not need signs to get these crazzy uncles to hang one upside down!

This is what Santa Got me Alright!

She loves her big pink pony. Clever Father Christmas even managed to deliver it to Granpa and Granny's house.

Snow - So that is what waving your fingers in the air means!

Mary for the first time this winter, 18 December 2009, Friday. Saw and understood snow. She loved it.

Christmas Party at the Deaf Centre

Thanks now I am off. Give her her due she did wait until it was her turn before grabbing the present and running.

Speech and Language Therapy

Mary had a visit from her S&L therapist on the 22 December 2009. Was quite amusing because she chose that day to experiment with the potty and was starkers when the lady arrived. Fortunately we have coem to know her quite well and Mary was soon placed in a nappy. Althoguht hte rest of the clothes stayed off.

Our lovely S&L Therapist is retiring in July and hopes, although given the state of the NHS may not happen, that there will be a person in place as soon as she has gone. We shall wait and see. She hopes that Mary will be saying 10 words fairly clearly by July. This obviously depends on the cooperation of the young child. Hmmm. In an attempt to get Mary interested in sounds, our lady has suggested we emphasise the first letters of words. So Ball, we repeat the word ball a few times when she playing with one and then do " b b b b".

On Christmas Eve 2009, for breakfast I too her a banana. I thought it not a ball but I got her to sign the banana and ask please. Then thought I could do "b b b b" which I did. She copied and OK it came out "p p p" but it is a start and she really enjoyed trying. That is the main thing. Getting her motivated. She is now paying a bit more attention when I do the sounds with her. We will have to see how she goes this next term.

She knows her place! And Mummy's and Daddy's!

Apologies for being so slack. Things have been a little hectic here. Mary's Dad and I separated at the beginning of December. Was rather complicated for a while so these things got left to their own devices.

I was really concerned as to how Mary woudl take it all Daddy living in a separate house. We could explain things to our 5 year old and she had a few questions. But how do we explain such a complex issue to Mary when we still at the basic level of communication.

But never fear Mary is so clever. I dropped her at Daddy's after about two weeks of separation. She had stayed at his on the Wednesday night but he had picked her up from here. Anyway the Saturday morning when I put her inside Daddy's house she took her coat and shoes off and then turned to me... She pointed at me with a determined look on her face and signed "go". I asked her for a kiss and she repeated her signs and turned away and went inside. Of course I was haertbroken, at not getting my kiss. But that told me! The next week when Daddy dropped them off here. She asked to go up into my arms and then turned to Daddy and waved.

Ho she has worked out that Daddy and Mummy live in different houses amazes me. SHe is so intuitive. She is brilliant.

New signs
"Go"
DVD
Cat DVD please
Come
No - and she takes great delight in telling other children "no"
Eat
Downstairs

123 jump

Stuck in Walberswick for dinner Mary learnt 123 jump. There were two plastic life size sheep in the garden of the pub. She was calling them cows. Not sure if she playing tricks on us or getting it wrong. But she did sign sheep with a giggle.

Also said 'oun oun' for round round in a song at hiccups on monday. Its coming!

She says now:-

"iiiieee iiieee" for Bye Bye. She can say "b" but does not string them together. Early days I know. Just noting down stuff as observation not criticism.

"oun oun" for Round Round. Was absolutley marvelous on Monday to see/hear her do this. Usually there is only one or two renditions of each song but we did quite a few of "Shake it" that day.

"U U" for Up. Again she can just about do "p" but not linking the sounds. We use the dandelion seed heads to practice "p" and "f" sounds. She seeems to enjoy that.

"O O" as from Pop or toast. Not quite sure but she signs toast with vigour accompanied by the "o" sound.

Very difficult to write down exactly how she says her words and without context one would not know they were words. But her range of babbling sounds is increasing everyday and she is even babbling without her ears on. So wonderful to hear. Starting to worry now all our effort to learn sign and teach her sign will be wasted if she learns to speak. Think though she will always use it. Who knows be up to her in a few years.

Banana Mummy

Mary came over to me in the kitchen. Signing something. Took me a while to get it. It was the sign for banana (mime yourself peeling a banana).

First time I recall her coming over to me and asking for something.

She is really taking off with sign this week and her vocalisations are getting more complex. I am trying to record it for this record but as soon as I get the camera out she goes quiet.

On another note, got a confession to make. I was wondering why we had not seen our speech and language therapist. Saw her at my sign class last night. Turns out it was my fault. I have missed two sessions. Oops Apologies. Will be in next week.

Baa Baa Black Sheep

Following our visit to the Emmeline Centre on the previous day, we took Katy to School. Mary was in her pram facing away from me as usual. Katy and I had been chattering also as usual and Mary was singing. Then I decided to sing Baa Baa Black Sheep to her. She stopped singing and turned her face up to look at me. We have three verses to our song: The boy, The girl and The dog who live down the lane. By the time I finsished the first two versus she was signing "Again" ( Flick two fingers of dominant hand down). Brilliant listening that day. Just goes to prove my theory about her overall desire to listen. Only on her terms.

Toast

Breakfast at Grandma's on Sunday was replayed to me by Daddy upon his return Sunday evening.

Mary was sat after her cereal at the table patiently or otherwise waiting to go and play. She kept raising both hands up in the air, fingers up, palms towards the chest. "Toast"
Grandma asks what it is she is doing. Daddy informs her it is the sign for Toast.
Grandma says OK if she wants toast I shall go and makes some. She toddles off to the kitchen as dutiful Grandma's are want to do. Mary continues signing toast.

A few minutes later Grandma returns with desired item. And signs toast.

Mary looks at it agrees with Grandma, signs "Toast" and then leaves the table with a nod.

This is so Mary. Just checking if you would obey my command. And of course Grandma would.

Shoes off Mummy

Today we went to a friends house. Her daughter too has bilateral cochlear implants. But the daughter is nearly six years old so does not really play with Mary at the moment. However it is nice to meet up with another mum who understands Mary and her needs. She signs to Mary and replaces her ears without any thought and I can truly relax.

Mary too enjoys our visits there and let out a big squeal and waved her arms when we pulled up in the driveway.

The girls were playing in the garden and us grown ups were in the kitchen. This scene reminds me of the issue I have with translation of BSL into English for the subtitles. I am beginning to understand BSL and find the subtitle translations very amusing. On a TV show we watch, Wicked, one of the presenters merely shrugged. The translation was "Well I suppose so then" accurate but wordy.

Mary's Language
M: Mary comes into the room sits on the floor and thrusts her foot in my direction.
Translation "Mummy please will you take my shoe off?"
Mummy: I sign "Want shoe off"(dominant hand inserted into non-dominant hand and pulled out as though taking a shoe off)
M: Mary looks at me, rolls her eyes and thrusts her foot at me again.
Translation "You know I want you to take my shoe off. You also know I know how to sign shoe off so will you just take my shoes off so I can get on with playing, thank you very much."

Needless to say I did not get her to sign "shoe off" on that occasion. She had her shoes and socks removed and promptly left to go back outside.

This highlights the biggest difficulty I have with my daughter. Her independent, know it all spirit. In one respect it is a blessing with all the added hardships she will have in life. However it makes for a frustrating time trying to get her to respond to us and show us what she does know. Why waste time signing what you know when you can be outside playing?